You give great advice. One thing I’m not sure how to do is your suggestion to ask for feedback from guys that don’t follow up after first date. Would they really be willing to share? I’m more comfortable with asking guys in an email.

I had this crazy idea of maybe making a short survey to send online when a guy I like views me but doesn’t message. For example, what is the reason you are passing on this profile, and give four multiple choice, like too old, not enough photos…etc.

I have the probably typical issue where it feels like none of the guys I like message me and I’m not interested in the guys who do. So, I would like to know is it just a numbers game or could I improve my profile to attract the men I’m interested in? Thanks for your thoughts on the survey idea.

Consider what your life would be like if every man whose profile you viewed sent you a survey? You’d have hundreds of earnest, unsolicited emails from men flooding your inbox. Ugh.

So let’s acknowledge that your impulse for self-reflection is admirable; there’s much more power in trying to understand why your marketing isn’t attracting the right men than there is in blaming men, as a gender, for not writing to you.

But the browsing phase is not the time to ask for feedback. Too many men. Too little time.

If you want to get better at online dating, you don’t need to survey a bunch of clueless guys who are scrolling through hundreds of women. Here’s all you need to do:

Finding the One Online is my comprehensive audio series that helps you write a clever username, craft a one-of-a-kind profile, post the kind of photos that get you noticed, and develop an email technique that makes men want to follow through and meet you in person. Soon, you’ll have more men and higher quality men chasing you down like never before.